Leading Me to the ROCK that is higher than I

The morning after we returned from Haiti I woke up in an upstairs bedroom at the Downey's in Orlando. At first I thought I was still in Haiti and instinctively rolled over to look at the mat on the floor beside my bunk where Spendy would've been. Sorrow swept over me and tears filled my eyes as I realized I didn't have Spendy beside me. I prayed for God to comfort me and Spendy. The verse that came to my mind was, "Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I." Truly God has done just that over the the last days. He has led me to Himself.

Comfort has come as I have cried out as a child to my Father. It has come in the form of Scripture, like the one above, from music- Fernando Ortega singing, "Rock of Ages, cleft for me, Let me hide myself in thee; Let the water and the blood, From Thy riven side which flowed, Be of sin the double cure, Cleanse me from its guilt and power," and also, "More love to Thee, O Christ, More love to Thee! Hear Thou the prayer I make on bended knee...", for the great temptation in the midst of adversity is to doubt God's goodness, so I need constant reminding of who He is and what He has done. It also has come from having Cameron and Shanley, in addition to Ryan and Alec, gathered with Ted and me around our table, a special thing any more. It has especially come from a chapter in Jerry Bridges' book, Trusting God, which Ted quietly handed me quotes and Scriptures from on Christmas morning...things he had written to help himself think rightly. I have been feasting on them over the last few mornings.

I infact have gone back and am slowly reading the entire chapter which is called, "Growing Through Adversity." In the beginning of the chapter Bridges writes about the Cecropia moth emerging from its cocoon. He explains that it is an event that occurs with much struggle on the part of the moth. The struggle is essential to developing the muscle system of the moth's body and pushing the body fluids into the wings to expand them. If someone were to try to make it easier on the moth by helping it out of the cocoon, he would infact damage the moth, for the struggle is essential for the moth to be able to develop. Bridges says, "The adversities of life are much like the cocoon of the Cecropia moth. God uses them to develop the spiritual 'muscle system' of our lives." The Christian life, Bridges reminds us, is to be one of continuous growth. We want to grow but we resist the process. "This is because we focus on the events of adversity themselves, rather than looking with the eye of faith beyond the events to what God is doing in our lives."

Horatius Bonar writes, "God knows exactly what He is doing....He knows exactly what we need and how to supply it...His training is no random work. It is carried on with exquisite skill." Jerry Bridges continues, "Every adversity that comes across our path, whether large or small, is intended to help us grow in some way. If it were not beneficial, God would not allow it or send it, 'For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men' (Lamentations 3:33). God does not delight in our sufferings. He only brings what is necessary, but He does not shrink from that which will help us grow."

God doesn't ask us how we want to grow or when we want to grow. He is the Master Gardener pruning the branches. "The healthy vine requires both nourishment and pruning. Through the Word of God we are nourished (Psalm 1:2-3), but through adversity we are pruned" (Bridges). God is at work in us through this present adversity. He is humbling me, reminding me of my desperate need for Him in every area of my life, causing me to see I even need to cry out to Him for more love for Him. He is making me hunger and thirst for His Word, for it is a sure comfort. It indeed nourishes me as I am being pruned. I am seeing that I dare not trust in my own understanding, but must acknowledge Him in all my ways, for He will make my paths straight (Prov. 3:5-6). I continue to cry out with the Psalmist, "Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the ends of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I" (Psalm 61:1-2), and God indeed has been faithful to lead me to Himself, the ROCK that is higher than I.